This will be me in like 5 or 6 years......

I have just received the results from the Certification Board for Music Therapists. My heart is pounding as I recall the years I’ve spent getting to this point. I’ve already graduated from Utah State with a Bachelor of Arts in Music Therapy. I’ve earned the highest academic award possible, making the Dean’s list: one of my many academic achievements. My six month internship has been the most rewarding experience of my life so far, but this is the crowning moment where I open the results from the certification test. I already know the results inside. I’m to be a board-certified music therapist. I’ve spent too many hours learning this valuable information, six months worth of internships under my belt, there’s no way I didn’t pass. I chuckle as I recall opening my acceptance letter from Utah State University. I had jumped up and down, screaming that I’d been accepted. Another incredible academic experience after struggling at the University of Utah for 3 semesters, unable to get motivated to study, knowing the direction I was going was not the one I wanted for the rest of my life. I had known the U was the right place to go after high school, but I also knew that staying there would not make me happy. I knew what I wanted, and the U would not get me there. So, I’d quit school and struggled along, working full time for 9 months before attending LDS Business College. At the beginning of that first semester, I struggled as always with feelings of inadequacies, focusing on my past problems and my weaknesses. But, I had taken a class that changed my life forever. It forced me to visualize myself at this very moment. Funny, but it’s exactly as I had imagined it. This class had been forced on me by the school, but I’ll be eternally grateful for it. I’d had a rough couple of weeks, where I felt even waking up in the morning was a chore. But I’d overcome my shortcomings, trusting in God to help me become someone I never could have been on my own. Graduating from LDSBC had been exciting for me. There was a time, even, when I’d thought that was impossible. But, I’d done it. Then, I’d applied to Utah State. Finishing in a short 3 years, I’d hurried along to the internship. Then this. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I know my parents are proud. Mom’s always been supportive of my decisions. At first, she didn’t understand that I needed to do things my way, but then she started trusting me. My dad’s told me how much he loves me, and how proud he is at the person I’ve become. He’d known I could do this from the time I was out of the womb, although I think he expected too much from me when I was younger. I had never been able to step up to his expectations of me. Not until now. I realize he’d been right all along but I just couldn’t see the value in myself. I held the thick envelope in my hands. Reading my name over and over again, I can’t believe it’s real. The return address on the envelope clearly states “Certification Board for Music Therapists.” That is my name peering through the window. This is it. I slide my finger underneath the minimally separated corner. Ouch! Paper cut. Of course. The crowning moment of my entire academic life and I’m bleeding. Just another distraction. At this point, I don’t care what’s going on anymore. I just want to see my certificate. Hold it in my hands and smell the wonderful smell of freshly printed paper my name appearing in beautiful calligraphy. Let’s try this again. I pulled the contents of the envelope, checking the name on the front one more time, making sure this is real. Yep. It still says my name, my address. The certificate is already in a frame. Granted, it’s made of cardboard, but it looks splendid. I start to weep softly. Not the hysterics that usually accompany poor choices accompanied by the consequences that follow them. These are the happy tears of a job well done. I’ve worked hard for this, and I know it. God knows it, too. More than the pride of my earthy parents, God is pleased with me. I can feel His Spiritual arms around me, congratulating me on this small and eternally insignificant feat. While in the grand scheme of things, passing the music therapy certification test is minimal to my eternal salvation. But it will definitely change the rest of my life. At the same time, all the things I’ve learned up and through this point will stay with me forever. The people I’ve met, the relationships I’ve shared, the lessons of perseverance and my divine capabilities are something that I can keep for now and through eternity. For the first time in a long time, I feel satisfied and proud of my achievements. I can see how far I’ve come from a scared 17 year old high school graduate moving to Utah by herself to a magnificent woman who knows who she is, and what she’s doing. Finally.